Louisiana

Crossing into Louisiana from Texas was bittersweet. The riding conditions quickly improved on Highway 12 East, but we were greeted with a wall of humidity that we still haven’t escaped. Louisiana seems to exist in an alternate universe, and in their universe water doesn’t realize that it is supposed to be a liquid when it is 70 degrees outside. We could feel our pace getting slower and slower as we fought through thick air and our lungs gasped for oxygen.

We discovered that a Parish is basically the same thing as a County, and the quality of the roads changes drastically as you enter new Parishes. It was really difficult to find a stealth camping spot that first night because everything in Louisiana is a swamp. By time night fell we decided to go with a spot near some power lines that was probably owned by the power company. We were out of sight of the highway, which is really all we need. The odds of someone seeing us at night are basically zero, and if someone sees us in the morning it doesn’t matter because we are moving on anyway. I guess they could be a shitbag and call the cops to give us a trespass notice, but so far that hasn’t happened. Stealth camping was pretty difficult in that part of the country but we always found a relatively safe place.

The next couple of days were relatively uneventful. We biked along the same road and saw the same sites. We clearly stand out down here and a lot of people at gas stations and grocery stores are interested in us. They also offer us weed and money and food pretty regularly, but we generally turn down these offers. As we approached Baton Rouge we needed to cross a couple of rivers, and by rivers I mean “a river that also has miles of swamp on both sides”. In order to navigate one of the rivers we had to trespass on a nature reserve. The road through the reserve was decent and we just smiled and waved at everyone we saw. Nobody seemed to care that we were there, which is kind of the norm in life… if you act friendly and confident people tend to just let you do your thing.

After several days we arrived in Baton Rouge, which turned out to be a really kick ass town. It has all the things we are looking for in a place to live. It is also SUPER cheap. With a little effort you can find a 2-bedroom house with a yard for about $600 per month. One good thing about living in Los Angeles is everything seems reasonably priced compared to them. If we end up moving to Baton Rouge (which looks fairly likely) we wouldn’t really need to work anymore than we are now, though a part-time job at a coffee shop or something is good for meeting people and getting out of the house. We both get kind of fat when our lives don’t revolve around exercise and we will need a way to stay active.

In Baton Rouge we stayed with a wonderful couple we found on Couchsurfing. Jen and Zac hosted us for several nights and we had an amazing time with them. We all had a lot in common… they are vegan, minimalist, love travelling, and they work for a solar company (okay, we don’t work for a solar company but we have solar panels). They also love pets and have a dog and a pig. We may be meeting up with them in DC later this year, which would be fucking awesome. One of my favorite things about being on the road is meeting all these amazing people and staying connected with them. Our network continues to spider all over the country and the magic of the internet lets us all stay in touch.

Sadly, our time in Baton Rouge had to come to an end and we hit the road. The first day was longer than average at 45 miles, but we made it halfway to New Orleans. We stayed with Dale, a prolific host that we found on Warmshowers.com (a site that has nothing to do with pee). Dale owns an auto shop and opens it up to cyclists coming through the area. He was incredibly friendly and knew exactly what a cyclist needs after a long day on the trail. He provided a safe place to sleep, electricity to power our stuff, a little kit with a new toothbrush and other amenities, and a little privacy. After chatting for a bit he left and let us rest. There was another cyclist there who was from Australia and travelling the US for a bit. He, like us, didn’t have a very strict plan, he was just riding along. Now we have an Australian connection for when we decide to tour there. J

The next morning, we slowly got back onto the road towards New Orleans. The plan was to get to a state park, camp there for two nights, and then head into New Orleans to stay with one of the coolest people on the planet, Cheyenne. Unfortunately, things don’t go as planned. The weather when we left was gross and we had a late start, which made it impossible to get to the state park. But, because we were so close to New Orleans (and Louisiana’s swampy terrain) it was nearly impossible to find a stealth spot. Eventually, after some searching, we found a spot underneath an interstate overpass. It wasn’t the quietest place but it did the job.

Before heading to Bayou Segnette State Park we stopped by Starbucks to work and Best Buy to get some supplies. We didn’t actually get anything at Best Buy because, apparently, they don’t actually have things in stock. So, we just used Amazon to order exactly what we wanted instead of settling for what they had. After the work we hit the road to finish up our short 20 mile day. Unfortunately, short doesn’t mean stress free or easy. To get to Bayou Segnette we had to cross a massive bridge going over the Mississippi River. It was a stressful ride but we made it and after checking in we set up for the night.

The next morning, we finally were headed to New Orleans to rest for about a week. Though, the 15 mile ride would be one of the longest ones of our bike ride. Our first stop was to a welder to get Anna’s trailer welded, it cracked for the third time a few days earlier but this was our first chance to find an aluminum welder to get it fixed. We found a guy who makes giant aluminum boats and he fixed it up really quickly. Our original plan was to take a ferry across the Mississippi in order to avoid the bridge and to cut our travel time down, the ferry would dump us straight into the French Quarter where we were staying. Unfortunately, the ferry was broken. According to the ferry website the boats are “older than Neptune and prone to break”. It doesn’t appear that the city of New Orleans is putting any real effort into solving this problem in the long term. Shit just breaks all the time and people deal with it.

So, we were stuck with crossing the bridge again. We were most of the way up the bridge when my chain snapped. I was able to push my stuff up the rest of the bridge and then coast down to an abandoned lot where I could try to repair the chain. That didn’t go as planned. I didn’t have all the correct parts to replace the chain because I am dumb and forgot that I had used up the spare links when I was in Dallas. We found a bike shop two miles away and started walking.

Eventually we got the parts, fixed the bike, and started riding again. By this time it was already late afternoon and we decided to stop by a brewery on our route into New Orleans. The beer was good and it was a nice break from the crazy long and stressful day we had. We hit the road again after a few drinks and made it to our friend’s place in the French Quarter at around 6pm. We had to pee really badly from the beer, so fixing that was our first order of business. Then we hauled everything up to her third floor apartment, locked and covered our bikes and trailers in the alley, and then finally relaxed.

Our time in New Orleans was a mixture of business and pleasure. We worked a bunch, rested some, and got our bikes tuned up. We also explored the city with our wonderful friend Cheyenne as our guide. Cheyenne is one of the most beautiful spirits we’ve ever encountered. We met her years ago because of Burning Man. She was in Los Angeles at the time and needed a ride up to Burning Man, she connected with me through a mutual friend, and we gave her a ride to and from the Playa. She is one of those people whose love and passion and energy can motivate you to get involved and change the world. She also always opens her home to those in need (she actually hosted us in Olympia, Washington back in 2014 as well when she was in college there), and she is a wonderful tour guide and host. It was such a pleasure seeing her and exploring New Orleans with her.

New Orleans is a fun city and somewhere that we would like to visit more often. It has so much life and character, and generally finds a way to prevent the problems you see in other large cities. There is a substantial homeless population but the city is fairly clean. There are trash cans everywhere and you often see porta-potties and public toilets available (take note Los Angeles). We never felt unsafe while wandering around and the open container laws (and recent marijuana decriminalization) means the police are generally there to prevent violence and theft instead of being used to bring in money or harass people because of their vices. The city is expensive as shit though, which is one reason we would visit a lot instead of living there.

After a prolonged break (we were delayed because our bikes took longer to tune up than expected) we started hit the road again, this time with Mississippi on the near horizon. Leaving New Orleans was an experience itself. First, we stopped by Villalobos, the home of one of our favorite shows “Pit bulls and Parolees”. For those that don’t know, the show focuses on the day-to-day operations of Villalobos, a rescue organization that focuses on pit bulls and hires primarily parolees. The show is all about second chances and letting individuals (animals and humans) have a chance at a new, better life. We took some pictures while there and met some of the staff. The staff was fascinated by Higgins and his little adventure we’ve been on.

After Villalobos we had a lot of trouble getting out of the city. We were going through the 9^th Ward and it was clear that the culture and infrastructure was still suffering from Hurricane Katrina’s devestation. There was a real distrust of outsiders there, to the point where a cop told us we needed to move along quickly when we were in front of a store packing up the groceries we just bought. Apparently, because I decided to eat something while packing, we were loitering and couldn’t stay there to eat. This is the first time that has ever happened to us.

At another one of our stops we pulled into an abandoned lot to have a quick picnic. We weren’t there 20 minutes before a truck pulled up and told us that it was private property. It was clear he wanted to make sure we didn’t plan on staying long. Shortly after he left another car pulled up and the driver just stared at us while we packed up. She didn’t say anything, but she watched us until we were ready to leave.

We kept trucking and soon got to a bayou reserve with some picnic tables. We stopped to take another break and a cop pulled up to talk to us. He warned us about how dangerous it was in the area and told us we needed to be careful because he “just caught two people doing drugs earlier”. The mindset that “doing drugs” = “harm to other people” is really disturbing, but pretty common among law enforcement. Personally, I’d rather hang out with a drug user than a cop. It is way more likely that a police officer will shoot Higgins or I than a random pot smoker will. When the cop asked where we were staying that night we lied and said we had a friend a few miles up the road. It was better to lie to him than tell him we planned on stealth camping along the river.

Fortunately, we actually didn’t need to stealth camp along the river. Shortly after we passed a Catholic church one of the employees drove up and told us we could camp on the church property if we want. That was really nice of him and this marks the first time a Catholic church has been helpful. Generally, Catholic churches are the least supportive. They either ignore emails and phone calls or have policies against providing shelter for strangers. Our favorite denominations tend to be Presbyterian and Lutheran churches, they are usually friendly and don’t try to convert us. I’m not sure if there is a theological reason for why different denominations tend to treat us differently, or if the difference even exists, our sample size is hardly big enough to draw any real conclusions.

That night beside the church was our last one in Louisiana. The next day we rode the final 15ish miles to the Mississippi border. We had a tailwind and beautiful weather to keep us moving into our 17^th state.

Check out our photos on Instagram (@shifts_and_higgles) or follow us on Facebook (www.facebook.com/shiftsandhiggles)

Dallas to Waco

Our first day back on the road was about what we expected… nothing went according to plan. Leaving a major city is always tough but DFW kicked our asses. First, we didn’t get started until 1pm. I realize this is not the fault of anyone except ourselves. Apparently, despite having three months to get things in order for the bike ride we decided to do a lot of the stuff the day we were leaving. So, our start was late but we only had 30 miles scheduled that day. No big deal.

Well, in traditional “everything is bigger here in Texas” fashion basically everything worked against us. The bike trail we were supposed to start out on turned into a lake about 2 miles in. So, this giant level of incompetence in city planning and maintenance forced us to ride our bikes on the giant roads with the giant trucks filled with giant assholes who don’t know how to use their brakes. Oh, and the giant amounts of construction blocking the sidewalks certainly didn’t help matters. We ended up still being about 15 miles from our starting destination when rush hour hit. It was terrible.

At around 5:30pm we pulled into a church parking lot to turn our lights on. We hate riding in the dark but we didn’t have much choice at this point. Luckily, the giant kindness of a Texas stranger helped us out. A man named Jerry approached us and asked about our trip. At first I was a little annoyed because we were clearly busy and in a hurry. Small talk was burning daylight and riding without daylight is pretty dangerous. Jerry turned out to be awesome and offered to follow us in his van with his hazard lights on to protect us from traffic. At first we declined his offer but, luckily for us, he was persistent. The last ten miles or so he rode behind us on some pretty gnarly highways and kept us safe all the way to our campground for the night. We set up quickly in the dark, had a meal, and went to bed. As exhausted and stressed out as we were it felt good to be back on the road.

We left the campground (Cedar Hills State Park) at a more reasonable time… 11am. Again, we found ourselves to be the victims of terrible infrastructure that provides no real options for cyclists or pedestrians. Despite a long day of biking we fell short of our 35 mile goal due to the hills, road conditions, and headwinds. Luckily, we found an abandoned lot to set up our tent in. Texas has a lot of fucking land. We could have lived in that lot for days and nobody would have noticed us. Hopefully this will continue and we will have lots of free stealth camping places as we go.

The next day was one of the best we ever had. We hopped onto the interstate (with the gigantic shoulders) and were lucky enough to have a tailwind most of the day. The roads were relatively flat and we easily made up our missed miles from the day before. In fact, we rode over 50 miles into Lake Whitney State Park and still had daylight left. It was really nice being able to set up in the daylight, eat some food, listen to Sawbones, and relax. We are often so rushed on our ride that we forget the reason we are on this adventure.

Oh, wait, there isn’t really a reason for this adventure. I forgot. We are just making up everything as we go.

While at Lake Whitney we met another amazing person. Robert is a fellow bike tourist and his home baser is up in the Dallas area. He is really inspiring to us because he didn’t abandon normal life to do bike tours. Instead, he keeps his normal job but finds ways to implement bike touring into it. For example, if he has to travel to Alabama for a  work conference he will bring his bike with him and ride back home instead of flying. Or when he has a long weekend he will try to ride to the beach and then take a train back. He makes me feel like we have the easy life. Which, in a way, we do… it is kind of easy to live when you don’t have bills or any traditional responsibilities. Though, we have some unique challenges, like figuring out where you will sleep each night, keeping a bike in working condition, not dying on the interstate, etc.

Our final day into Waco was a pretty rough one. We had about 40 miles to do but it was pretty hilly and the headwind was back. Also, our bodies were pretty beat from four days of constant riding, but we overcame the challenges of the day and made it to our Couchsurfing hosts just before dark. Our hosts, Allyson and Logan, are two of the friendliest and caring people I’ve ever met. They have such a generous spirit and a passion for life that it is really inspiring. It is always good to meet new people and have them become fast friends. Oh, and they had three lovely dogs for Higgins to play with, so he was pretty happy.

When we first started towards Waco I didn’t know what to expect. All I knew about that town was a couple decades ago some asshole religious people got into a scuffle with some douchebag government people and some children died. I didn’t realize that it was such a dynamic and fun town. On paper it meets all of our requirements for a city to live in (~100,000 people, college in town, relatively bike friendly, outdoor stuff to do, cheap housing, etc) but it also has some other selling points (the winter here does not suck, no income tax, two major cities nearby). So, we are putting Waco up for consideration of a place to move when we finish the bike ride. At the very least it is worth looking into the schools and such in the area to see what their programs are like.

Anyway, we are spending two more nights at a local park and then we will hit the road to Austin. We are pretty excited about Austin, but also kind of afraid that it is all hype. The places we are supposed to love as dirty, burner, vegan hippies like Portland, San Francisco, and Seattle have all been overwhelmingly big, expensive, and kind of a disappointment. Also, major cities are notoriously bad for finding a place for us to stay. It is a pretty tall order to put two people and a dog in someone’s home for the weekend in cities. Well, hopefully Austin can break those trends.

Year Three Begins

When we originally started planning our 48-state bike ride we expected to knock it all out without any real breaks. We thought it would take about 15 months and by 2016 we would be starting a new chapter in our life. Well, we were wrong. This adventure we call life sent is a lot of curve balls that slowed us down, altered routes, and changed the spirit of the ride. It was all unexpected, but it has been incredibly awesome.

So, now we are starting year three of our ride. For the last three months we have been hibernating in Dallas, Texas storing up fat for the upcoming leg. It has been time of rest, work, and mental renewal. It has also been a time where we have gotten to know some dear friends that are now our family. It is going to be hard to say good-bye, but thanks to modern technology they will always just be a few clicks away.

If all goes according to plan (Spoiler: It won’t) we will be going through 20 states, travelling for about 8 months, and covering about 4,500 miles. We aren’t going to be able to visit all the cities we want, but we will get to hang out in each state for a bit, see some more Great Lakes, and just get outside to see the world. We are also playing with the idea of writing a series of children’s books about our adventure from Higgins point of view. There are a lot of details to flush out but we are excited about the prospect of bringing our adventures to a younger audience and inspiring them to get outside, explore the world, and have adventures. There are a lot of hidden gems in the US (and the world).

So, here is our expected route. If you know of any places we should visit please feel free to contact us. Or, if you’d like to meet up for a beer or some food, or have a place we can crash we’d love to hear from you. You can reach us on here, our Couchsurfing page, our Facebook page, or Instagram (@shifts_and_higgles).

Fargo to Minneapolis (or Two Beer Geeks Resent A State’s Terrible Liquor Laws)

This stuff all happened a while ago. I’m a bit behind because of how much we’ve travelled and how lazy I can sometimes get. Sorry about that. Oh, also you can find WAAYYYY more photos at our Facebook page and a handful of different photos at our Instagram (@shifts_and_higgles)

Sadly, our time with Kristen in Moorhead came to an end. We had a great time and only wish we’d had more time to spend in that city. As we started on our southwest journey towards Minneapolis, it became clear the terrain was changing pretty drastically. The plains and badlands of the Dakotas and Montana are far behind us, giving way to the forests, lakes, and riverlands of Minnesota. Basically, we are entering the domain of the elven people.

After 65 miles or so we arrived in Fergus Falls, our stop for the night. Due to some construction and a detour to get supplies, we ended up biking about 10 miles more than planned. It wasn’t too bad…the terrain was fairly flat and easy going. Camping has become a bit of a challenge, though. The mosquitoes are everywhere and we often need to work quickly to get the tent up so that Higgins doesn’t get completely covered in bites. We have been experimenting with different mosquito deterrents but none of them really work that well. Anna and I often come up with our own ideas of ways to kill the mosquitoes. Like most passion that is fueled by hatred, our plans are likely illogical and impossible, but it does make us feel better.

Our next day we started out on a rail-to-trail bike trail that would guide us for a couple of days into St. Cloud. Man, we have missed bike trails. Interstate highways might be the most direct way to get around, but they are boring and dangerous. It is much better to be on a trail meant for bikes and pedestrians. It is a little sad how few people we saw utilizing the trail – such a wonderful infrastructure in place and it seems barely used. Hopefully it was just because it was a weekday or something. Oh yeah, also today we woke up to the news that the SCOTUS had ruled in favor of marriage equality!!! So, yeah, that was exciting. Anna and I basically cried from happiness.

After about 30 miles of biking, we ended up in Brandon, MN and noticed some dark clouds forming on the horizon. While we were paused on the side of the road, looking at the sky and getting our bearings, a local guy pulled up in his pick-up and asked if we needed a ride to safety. I was confused and asked if we were in any danger. He told us the storm coming in might have dime-sized hail. That sounded dangerous to us so we decided to bike over to a county park and end the day a little early. The park (called Chippewa Park) turned out to be a real blessing. It was also another camping place that didn’t show up on Google. I have been adding places we camp to Google Maps as we go, hopefully to help other cyclists in the future. It is amazing how little web presence many small businesses and local governments have, considering how simple it is to set up a free website.

Anyway, the campground had a beautiful lake that we swam in (and forced Higgs to swim in with us) and we got a chance to relax, power up our equipment, and just enjoy an evening off. We also met some cool people, particularly a guy camping next to us named Troy who kindly shared some beers with us. He had an interesting history and I wish we could have chatted more. Sadly, biking for days in the sun drains us a lot and hopefully our tiredness didn’t come off as rudeness as the night sapped away our energy. We do have Troy’s contact information (and he has ours) so hopefully we can stay in touch. It really is people like Troy that make this journey memorable. As great as the sights and adventures are, it is the people we meet that really make life worth living. As the night ended, Anna saw a raccoon steal some of Troy’s food off the table, but (thinking she was just seeing things in the darkness,) she did nothing to stop that vile creature. Oh, and a little girl asked if I was Jesus. I told her yes.

The next two days were pretty similar. We were on the trail a lot and camped out at random parks and such. We got downpoured on one night, but overall the weather seems to be clearing up a bit as we enter summer. We also experienced more sexism, which is pretty common. People tend to assume Anna is not carrying one of the trailers unless they see us biking. It is kind of gross the assumptions people make.

On Sunday (June 28) we arrived in St. Cloud, where we stayed with two fucking amazing people, Bekah and Tom. Holy cow, we had such a great time Couchsurfing with them. We did the normal chores and errands stuff (work, laundry, shower so we don’t smell like ass, etc) but we also got to hang out with them a bit. Higgins loved them too, he liked to awkwardly sit on their laps. It is always embarrassing when your dog plops his anus down on people. He also ate some of their chicken off their kitchen table, how rude. Luckily we got a chance to get some of Higgins’ energy out by taking him and Bekah and Tom’s dog (Sophie) to the dog park. They got to play around in a nearby river too. Higgins generally doesn’t like the water but apparently his love for balls is stronger than that fear. When I threw a ball into the deeper water, he plunged in after it without hesitation – his head went completely underwater for a second. He isn’t a really good swimmer so we were all a bit scared, and I went after him in case he didn’t come up and needed assistance, but he ended up being fine. He just thrashed around in the direction of the ball floating downstream until he eventually caught up with it, then thrashed his way to the shore, where he shook himself off, stared suspiciously at the water, and refused to get back in for at least five minutes (until we threw another ball). He is a durable puppy.

After two nights with two amazing people we hit the road again. The bike trail ended but we had a really good shoulder along a moderately busy road. Not ideal, but it could have been a lot worse. We found camping at a State Forest along Ann Lake where we took more pictures and relaxed some more before our final day into Minneapolis.

After an easy day of riding and an extended work break at a coffee shop, we got to a KOA in NW Minneapolis. We generally don’t like staying at KOA’s, they are expensive, filled with gaudy RVs, and have children running around screaming. We didn’t really have a choice though – it was the Fourth of July weekend in a major city and most places were booked up already. Just like Veteran’s Day, it is kind of ironic that a combat veteran can’t find good camping options on the Fourth of July. Normally we would hope for a Couchsurfing host, but we had no luck there either because of the holiday. We made the best of the situation though and stayed three nights so that we could get some work done and get ready for the next week of travel. We also drank a lot of beer, despite the horrendous alcohol laws in Minnesota. They are terrible, by far the worst we have seen yet. Though, I hear Pennsylvania is going to top that list when we get there next spring.

The KOA also gave us an opportunity to take some MDMA together. It had been a while since we were able to bond like that. It is something we really love and helps keep our relationship open and strong. It’s a shame that finding good, safe Molly on the road is pretty tough. It isn’t something we need and if we go the next couple years without it we will be fine. It is nice to have though!

Finally, on the morning of July 4, we hit the road again. The plan was to bike 20 miles into Minneapolis, hit a couple of breweries, and then bike 20 miles out of Minneapolis to find a place on the side of the road to camp. We accomplished 2 of our 3 goals. We got into Minneapolis and went to Indeed Brewery and Surly Brewery, but in doing so, we also got pretty drunk. Our least bad option was to get a cheap hotel in a moderately shady part of St. Paul for the night… more money down the drain but at least we were safe. After working a bit to unload our bikes and get all our valuable stuff into our inconveniently placed second story hotel room, and storing our trailers in the pool lobby (not sketchy at all), we ordered some vegan pizza (HOLY SHIT IT WAS GOOD!!!!) and promptly passed out. Happy Fourth of July, motherfuckers!

Bismarck to Fargo (or, Nothing To Report)

Our last day in Bismarck allowed us to get some work done, finish some errands, and grab some beer at one of the breweries in town. We are trying to be more fiscally responsible so we are limiting our brewery visits to those that are highly recommended by a local and/or those that we have researched a bit and want to visit. The Laughing Sun Brewery was recommended to Anna by someone in town, and it ended up being pretty decent. The beer was good (though a little overpriced) and they had a great atmosphere. The outdoor deck was perfect for people like us with a dog and everyone we met was really friendly. (A guy named Jeremy even gave us half of a pizza!) Laughing Sun is also openly supportive of the LGBT community, which was a pleasant surprise. Much of North Dakota so far has been pretty rural conservative.

1,000 miles!!!

On Thursday (6/18) it was time to hit the road out of Bismarck. It took us a while to pack up and get moving, like it always does when we stay in the same place for a few days and let our stuff get super disorganized and crazy in the tent. Eventually we left the campground and after a quick grocery run, we were on the road. The scenery is getting pretty bland out here in eastern North Dakota, but we kind of knew that already and were prepared for it. The road was a slight uphill with a headwind that was just strong enough to be obnoxious. After a short 35ish miles, we found a county park that allowed free camping. There wasn’t any electricity or bathrooms, but at least there was water and soft ground. Adventurers can’t be picky.

After waking the next morning, we went through our daily pack-up routine and got on the road. We had 45 miles or so planned and the terrain looked pretty easy. After about 15 miles, we stopped at a truck stop that had electricity and shade so that Anna could work. We were there for several hours so it goes without saying that we attracted some attention. Overall, people in western North Dakota have been incredibly friendly, as have the Minnesotans that we have started encountering. Big highway truck stops, much like campgrounds, tend to be filled with travelers and adventurers. There seem to be less judgments and assumptions made about us when we stop at these places.

Most of the rest of the day went pretty easily. We had to jump onto the highway to avoid some gravel roads, but the shoulder was nice. Then, about 8 miles from our destination, things got shitty. The interstate rumble strips changed at the same time we encountered some construction, so we didn’t have a clear shoulder anymore. The thought of going 8 miles over rumble strips on a poorly-marked highway shoulder seemed terrible so we opted for a gravel side road instead – at least we wouldn’t have traffic to deal with. The first gravel road we tried had been washed out by the rain, so we went with option two. After a few miles we saw a sign that said that that road was closed too…we didn’t want to backtrack, so we just kept going, hoping that even if the road was closed, we could squeeze through on our bikes. It turned out the road had been closed due to high water, but luckily the water levels had receded enough that we were able to get through. The going was still tough though, as it always is on hilly gravel roads, and by the time we arrived in Medina, it was dark with huge storm clouds coming in quickly. Luckily, there was a city campground that only cost $10 right in our path. With electricity, showers, water, bathrooms, and a pavilion to take shelter under, it was a pretty perfect place for us to ride out the storm.

The Higgs!

The next two days were pretty uneventful. The terrain was mostly flat with some gentle rolling hills, lots of grass and plains with few trees. We had to sleep on the side of the highway in a mosquito infested clearing one night, but the next night we found a campground in Valley City with $10 tent camping. We hadn’t originally intended to stop at Valley City, but we were feeling a little tired and the thought of a cheap campground with showers was wonderful. We grabbed a case of beer and set up.

Everyone at the campground was incredibly friendly. First, we met Jeff (probably not his real name). He grew up in Valley City and was back in town to do some volunteer work. He gave us a lot of history and information about the area. He asked several times if we wanted him to drive into town to get coffee or any supplies. Very nice of him, although it should be noted that “town” was about one mile away. Next, we met Carrie (maybe not spelled this way but I like the Stephen King character), who lived across the street from the campground and came over to say hello. She is an avid cyclist herself and has done several multi-state tours. She was kind enough to offer us her garage if the weather got bad that night – apparently hail the size of golf balls is something that happens here pretty regularly. Lastly, we met Ole. He is from Norway originally and is biking across the US as well, from Boston to Seattle. Like us, he has no set-in-stone plan for his life after his bike ride. It is always wonderful to meet a kindred spirit on the road, I hope we cross paths again with him someday. We are also looking forward to following his blog!

Surlys Unite!

Our final day into Fargo was our longest day yet – close to 70 miles. Luckily we had a strong tailwind and the route was really flat. We did a great job of keeping our breaks to a reasonable length and just plowing through the rest of North Dakota. We have a wonderful Couchsurfing host in Moorhead (hehe…oral sex), MN who has been wonderful. She met us at a local brewery, Junkyard Brewery, where Anna and I had already become accidentally wasted due to all the insanely delicious beer there. Oh well, it loosened up our normally introverted personalities. After the brewery we went back to our host’s home, chatted a bit, watched some It’s Always Sunny, and passed the fuck out.

We have two full days in Fargo/Moorhead to get work done, get our bikes tuned up, and explore a bit. Soon we will be off across Minnesota, land of 10,000 lakes, 10,000,000,000,000,000,000 mosquitos, at least two decent rail-to-trail bike paths, and a punk club that has vegan nachos and will have Against Me! playing while we are in town (though I don’t think we can really afford it). Bring it on!

Dickinson to Bismarck (or, North Dakota’s Most Wanted)

After a night of very little sleep at the hotel in Dickinson, we moved everything out of the room (which required reassembling Higgs’ trailer), hit up a grocery store for some much needed noms, and headed east again. This time we got off I-94 and took a frontage highway. The interstate is fun and all, but occasionally it is nice to have a few minutes of your day absent the Sword of Damocles in the form of a Mac truck flying at you from behind at 75 MPH. The day was fairly easy – the wind wasn’t in our favor (what else is new) but the hills were fairly mild.

We have stuff…

As early evening approached, we stopped to try and find a place to camp in the small town of Richardton. There was a small park near the rail tracks that we stopped at, but we weren’t sure if camping was allowed. Anna went into a local bar to see if anyone knew if we could set up our tent in the park or not. After about five minutes she came back and reported we couldn’t, but that there was a cheap campground just a few miles away. That sounded good to us so, after a bit of lounging around in the park to eat some dinner, we hit the road again headed for the campground.

About one mile out of town, a car came flying down the road and just barely missed hitting us when it passed. The car then swerved over onto the shoulder directly in front of us and came to a complete stop. The driver (let’s call him Bobby) got out of the car to flag me down. I thought he might be drunk at first…then when he got out of the car, I thought maybe he was trying to be helpful, despite being a very shitty driver. When I stopped near him, he informed me he’d been in the bar in Richardton when Anna came in, his wallet was now missing, and he thought Anna had stolen it. I informed him she hadn’t done that, and even told him he could call a sheriff to search our stuff if he wanted.

Now, we wouldn’t actually consent to a sheriff searching our stuff without a warrant. We both think it is important to flex your rights and resist the overreach of government agencies. Besides, we have private things in our possessions (i.e. sex toys), which were none of Bobby’s business, and also it takes about 60-90 minutes to pack everything up – the sun was setting and we didn’t have time for that. But, I figured convincing Bobby that we were going to cooperate was better than just riding off and appearing very guilty/suspicious. He clearly could keep up with us in his car wherever we went, and he’d showed us he wasn’t particularly concerned with our safety.

A few minutes later, a minivan pulled up with a woman in the driver’s seat (her name is now Trixie). She informed us that the bar had a video that they were in the process of reviewing. We responded that this was good news, since a video would clearly prove that Anna hadn’t stolen anyone’s wallet. They seemed to be displeased that we were comfortable with a video. Bobby seemed to double-down on the sheriff threat and told us we should ditch any weed we might have. I feel like we should have been offended by his assumption. Or maybe everyone just carries weed around all the time in North Dakota?

Forty-five minutes or so passed with us just standing around, waiting. Just as I was going to insist that we needed to get going before the sun set, Bobby said he was giving up and heading back into town. The guy that had been in the car with Bobby (Ricky… sure, let’s go with Ricky) asked me to call him so that he would have my phone number. Then he changed his mind and said he would call me. It took him a long time to type in my number. I got his phone call and read out his number to him. He then asked me to text him so that he had my number. I think he might have been drunk. After my text finally went through so that they had my number, Bobby, Ricky, and Trixie all finally drove off back towards town.

We’ve thought a lot about this incident in hindsight, and we’re not convinced a sheriff was ever called, nor that a video actually exists. I think Bobby lost his wallet (or forgot it at home) and when he couldn’t find it, his gut reaction was to blame the outsiders for stealing it. Chasing us was pretty illogical though. Even if Anna did steal the wallet, she certainly would not have kept it on her an hour after the theft. It would be crazy foolish to try and use someone’s credit cards the next day and we have no use for a driver’s license. Cash is valuable but they could never prove that cash once belonged to him.

We are often treated as outsiders when we come into towns, and I guess we are outsiders in a lot of ways. It is really interesting, the types of assumptions people make about us. Many are friendly but occasionally we get grouped into one of two negative boxes. We are often seen as either transient criminals or trust-fund babies. The assumption seems to be that two people who travel by bicycle around the country are not truly contributing to society. In reality, the truth is more complex…we both have jobs and work hard to sustain our lives. We may not see working full-time as something that fits our life but we aren’t mooching off our parents (or stealing wallets from strangers) in order to fund our lives. We are the product of a new world where technology allows minimalists to have little while living a lot. Many people seem to have a problem grasping that.

Anyway, after the long delay by Bobby and crew, we were finally able to bike the last two miles to the campground. The road was dirty and hilly but we made it with a little bit of daylight left. Just as we finished setting up our tent, a truck pulled into the camping area and pulled up to our site. Anna and I both assumed that this had something to do with our previous encounter – maybe the sheriff was here to try to search our stuff without a warrant – but we were wrong. A woman was driving the truck and she was visibly upset. Her name is now Vivian.

Vivian told us that her husband had left her that morning and that she needed a phone to borrow to make a phone call. Unfortunately, we had no signal at the campground. She said her vehicles were all basically out of gas and, since she was still waiting for her debit card to arrive in the mail, she had no way to access any of her money. Anna asked if a few dollars would help and Vivian said yes, so Anna gave her $20 (a little “pass it on” from our time in Glendive). Vivian swore she would pay us back before we left, but we told her not to worry about it.

In the morning, Vivian returned to our campsite with her horse. She came to just chat and thank us for our generosity. She still hadn’t gotten her debit card in the mail, so she couldn’t pay us back, but she promised to “pass it on” to someone in need when she was able. Her horse munched cheerfully on the leaves of a nearby tree as we talked. I always forget how huge horses are. Vivian told us about her riding accident 8 years ago and how she still had some brain damage from it. People telling us about tragedies in their lives is a pretty common occurrence – I’m not really sure why, but people seem to open up easily to Anna and me. Maybe bearded men and dirty blonde girls seem naturally trustworthy. (Although, given what happened yesterday in Richardton, maybe not!)

Leaving the park was a huge pain because of the unpaved road and insanely steep hills, but we eventually made it back to the paved road with a little towing help from Higgins. That dog is strong. Once back on the (real) road, we had a solid tailwind for the first time ever, not just some 4 MPH breeze but a full-on 15-20 MPH blast at our backs. It was fucking magnificent. We did end up getting back on the interstate for the final stretch of the day because the side road turned into gravel. We couldn’t find a good place to camp until the very end of the day after the sun had already set, when we finally ended up setting up our tent in a grove of trees under the watchful eye of Salem Sue (a giant cow statue, obviously). The day ended up being over 50 miles, but we crossed into the Central Time Zone and knew that we would be in Bismarck for a three day rest the following day.

We woke early from our nest under the protection of the unsleeping Sue. It wasn’t a great night’s sleep, since several cars and a few pedestrians passed noisily by our spot throughout the night, but none of them spotted us. It also rained most of the night, which is always a bummer. Once we got moving for the day, our first priority was refilling our water, so we stopped by a park about half a mile away. The park actually allowed camping and would have covered us from the rain, but we hadn’t known it existed. The lack of Internet presence for some of these cities and their resources is pretty disappointing. Even Google didn’t know the park existed. I did end up adding it to Google though. I do my best to add and rate places on Google, Yelp, and Freecampsites.net whenever appropriate.

Thanks Sue!

While Anna was filling water, a truck pulled up and asked her if we had paid the $10 fee for camping at the park. She explained that we hadn’t actually camped there, we were just refilling water at the pump. The man in the truck rolled his eyes and grunted, clearly not believing her. He then drove over to me near the bathroom and asked the same question. I told him the same thing and he grunted again and sped off. I guess we can add “alleged freeloaders” to our list of things North Dakota has accused of us, along with “alleged pickpockets”. Maybe I should put those things on LinkedIn (shit…when was the last time I updated that thing?).

The day warmed up quickly and soon we were sweating as we rode along the steady rolling hills towards Bismarck. During one of our breaks on the side of the road, a man drove up on an ATV. (Apparently ATVs are a primary form of transportation out here. We see them everywhere on all types of roads being driven by children and adults.) The man told us some of the history of the area, including how his grandfather homesteaded the area when he came west over 100 years ago. He also told us how he would destroy any Native American artifacts he found on his farmland because if he reported them it would be a bureaucratic nightmare that could lead to him losing his land.

About halfway between New Salem and Bismarck, the trail flattened out and we had some smooth, flat riding for a change. When we got to Mandan (a suburb of Bismarck), we even had a beautiful bike trail leading into the city. With the exception of one little stretch of highway, we had bike trails throughout the whole city, including on a bridge going over the Missouri River. It being a beautiful Sunday, there were tons of people around our age floating the river, tanning their bodies, and stirring some feelings in our loins. It has been a while since we banged.

The Mighty Missouri!

Before heading to our campsite for the night, we stopped by a grocery store to get some food. While Anna was inside shopping, I was approached by two people who saw the bikes and gear. Strangers chatting with us is not an uncommon experience. These two (a mother and son I think) kind of stuck out though. When they found out that we started in Los Angeles, the son’s eyes grew bright. He told me that he had always wanted to go to Los Angeles but didn’t think he would ever make it. He was probably in his early 20’s and the statement made me a bit sad – he seemed much too young to have given up on visiting a city that interested him. In reality, pretty much any age is too young for that in today’s world. Bismarck is a fairly large city but to have resigned yourself to never leaving is a foreign idea to me.

The mother mentioned that she had never really left Bismarck and seemed very afraid of the world. And of course, she asked if I had a weapon of some sort to protect myself. This is also a pretty common question, but seems to come exclusively from people who have spent a long time in the same place and haven’t traveled much. These people seem to have a fear about the world that is almost entirely unfounded. We live in the safest time ever in human history and the vast, vast, vast majority of people are good. While there is some truth to Tolkien’s statement that stepping outside your door is dangerous (“It’s a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step onto the road, and if you don’t keep your feet, there’s no knowing where you might be swept off to”), it is mostly just dangerous to your biases and sheltered view of the world. In our experience Mark Twain had it right:

“Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow-mindedness, and many of our people need it sorely on these accounts. Broad, wholesome, charitable views of men and things cannot be acquired by vegetating in one little corner of the earth all one’s lifetime.”

The campground we decided to stay in in Bismarck wasn’t perfect but the price was right ($10 per tent per night). Water, bathrooms, and such are all we really need. Sadly, no WiFi or electricity were easily accessible, so after a morning quickie we biked into town to hang out in a Starbucks for 8 hours or so. After getting our work done, we hit the store to get some fresh food to grill, including eggplant (my favorite). We got to sleep pretty late at night and soon after falling asleep the rain started… a rain that would last all day Tuesday and confine us to the tent all day (working, for the most part). Stupid rain.

Stupid rain…

Oh well, we still have another day in Bismarck to tidy up any loose ends, and maybe even explore the city a bit.

 

Miles City, MT to Dickinson, ND (or, Becoming Legendary)

We enjoyed our time at the wonderful Big Sky Campground in Miles City but, as is always the case, we had to hit the road. Our first day out was a short 37 mile day along the interstate into Terry, Montana. The ride was uneventful for the most part but we did have our second journey-related flat (we’ve also had one flat due to human error…Peter fucked up). We’re definitely realizing that our Schwalbe Marathon Plus tires were well worth the investment. After 24 days on the road – over 500 miles – with eight wheels total, we have only had two flats. The Schwalbes may be $50 each but they more than pay for themselves in both time and money saved.

Terry was small (about 600 people) but it had all the amenities we needed…basically, a grocery store and free water. The woman at the grocery store called someone and confirmed that we could camp in the city park. These little towns seem to have a common sense that is lost in larger cities. Without a bloated bureaucracy making up rules about what can and can’t happen on public land, it is easy for us to just set up a tent for the night without hassle. There was one Corgi that tried to bite Higgins because most Corgis are dickholes (at least most of the ones we’ve encountered), and there was also a loose dog that Peter helped catch, but for the most part our time at the Terry city park was fairly uneventful.

The ride from Terry to Glendive was supposed to be a fairly easy one. It’s only about 40 miles with mostly flat terrain, and the weather was forecasted to be pretty nice. Unfortunately, however, we got wind-fucked. About halfway through the day we got hit by an alternating headwind/crosswind that gusted up to 30 MPH. There are few things more frustrating than peddling as hard as you can on flat terrain and only moving 4 MPH. We even tried to get off the highway and take some gravel side roads, hoping there would be trees and hills to provide us with some cover from the wind. That didn’t end up working though – the terrain was mostly farmland and now we were both wind-fucked AND gravel-fucked.

We crawled along for several hours and finally arrived at Glendive around 4 PM. We had found some online references to free camping in a park in town so we set up base there. Anna went to the Albertson’s across the street for some groceries/beer and also confirmed that we could camp in the park as long as we didn’t start a fire. I’m not really sure why someone would just start a fire in the middle of a park with no fire pits, but clearly this has been a problem in the past.

For the price (free), the park was pretty nice. There was no easily accessible electricity or WiFi, but we had soft ground, a nearby grocery store, and access to a bathroom. Granted, both bathrooms reminded us of a scene out of the movie Hostel with terrible lighting, blind corners, creepy concrete walls, and the smell of sliced opened bowels filled with Taco Bell. The latter part came from the women’s bathroom where someone had apparently taken a shit all over the toilet, walls, and the button you push to flush the toilet. Someone also abandoned a full, diarrhea-filled baby diaper in the trash can in there. Some people are gross.

Seems sanitary…

We did have a nice lady named Donna give us $20 while we were hanging out at the park waiting for people to leave. We tried to explain that we didn’t need the money but she wanted to be kind so we accepted it. It turned out that Donna worked at the local vet where we were taking Higgs to get his rattlesnake vaccine booster the next day. Small world…and small town.

After everyone left the park (finally), we set up our tent for the night. We slept well but woke a little earlier than expected because city maintenance showed up to spray the weeds in the park. Our tent was in their way, so they called the cops on us. An officer approached our tent and informed us that camping was not allowed and that we had to move. He was friendly enough – if anything, he seemed to agree it was ridiculous that he’d been called to oust campers at 6 AM. We later learned that the city only sprays the park for weeds once a YEAR, which means if we would have camped there literally any other night, we probably wouldn’t have been hassled. Oh well.

Getting up early had some perks. I rode around town a bit to get a feel for the infrastructure. There weren’t a lot of options for power, WiFi, water, etc but I did find another park that had electricity.

We spent the day in Glendive doing our normal errands…working, powering up our stuff, and getting supplies. I also took Higgins to the vet to get his rattlesnake vaccine booster. That was a kind of crazy experience. Vets out in rural areas are a bit different than their urban counterparts. For one, the things for sale are incredibly frightening. I don’t know if you’ve ever seen syringes used to inseminate various livestock, but they are large. Another strange thing was the number of bulls in the parking lot. I am used to zero bulls in the parking lot; this vet had at least six.

After we got all our work and errands done for the day, we decided that Makoshika State Park was our best option for camping that night. On our way through Glendive to Makoshika, we said good-bye to our old friend the Yellowstone River. We’ve been riding along or near the Yellowstone for a couple of weeks now and it will be kind of weird not to see those rolling waters nearby anymore. Anyway, after a very quick ride, we arrived in Makoshika just as the sun was starting to set. Generally, we hate spending $18 for 12 hours on 225 square feet of hard land without electricity or water, and with only a drop toilet to share with 20 other people. (We aren’t New Yorkers, after all.) We didn’t have much of a choice though, and in the end we’re glad we didn’t. Makoshika was absolutely gorgeous. The pictures we took don’t do it justice at all. The way the colors from the sunset highlighted the natural beauty of the badlands was enough to truly take your breath away. (More pics can be found at our Facebook page www.facebook.com/shiftsandhiggles )

The view from our tent can’t be beat.

Home is where the tent is…

The next day we got up fairly early, but took our time hitting the road. We have gotten into a pretty decent routine and as long as we don’t have a Couchsurfer waiting for us or anything, we feel no real rush. Our mileage has been good and our bodies are getting in decent shape. 40-50 mile days just aren’t as big of a deal anymore, so we take our time in the morning. Last night, we’d planned on doing a little hiking in Makoshika in the morning, but it was already in the 80’s at 9:30 AM so we decided not to. Makoshika is now on our list of places to return to, though. It would be awesome to come back and do a multi-day backpacking trip between the different campgrounds.

Makoshika!

We had to ride the interstate again today because it was our only real option heading east. There are some side roads but they are mostly gravel and incredibly hilly…basically the bane of our existence. The terrain has started to flatten out a bit but there is a noticeable lack of trees along the interstate, which sucks on sunny and hot days. Occasionally we find a small town that has some buildings or a city park with shade, but most of our breaks are short and in the sun on the side of the road.

As our day came to an end, we encountered a lot of trouble finding a place to camp for the night. We stopped in a small town called Wibaux that had a very nice park, but the sheriff informed us that they didn’t allow camping there for whatever reason. At around 4:30 PM I called ahead to the next town (Beach) and talked to their Visitor Center. I was informed that there were several tent camping options in Beach, but the person wouldn’t discuss it over the phone for some reason – instead we were told to come in to the Visitor Center and talk to someone in person. So, with a basic idea that we would have shelter in Beach, we kept moving and crossed into North Dakota.

State Line Selfie!!!!

When we arrived at Beach around 5:45 PM, their Visitor Center was already closed. Apparently the person I talked to on the phone didn’t think it was important to mention that the center closed a half hour from when we were talking. Bullshit. I grabbed some flyers that had information about the town, but that ended up being a bust. The only campground listed on the flyer turned out to not actually exist. (Thanks?) Anna biked to a few gas stations and talked to some of the locals to see if anyone knew anything about tent camping options in the city, and nobody knew anything. After some quick exploring of the town proved fruitless as well, I went into a local RV park to see if they would allow us to set up for the night, and the owner said that we could set up for free! This was our first taste of that “legendary” North Dakota friendliness we’d heard about.

Higgins is disappointed by the lack of sticks.

The RV park wasn’t much, but it had power and we had explicit permission to be there – more than we can say for many places we’ve set up our tent. We plugged in our devices, I went to buy a six-pack of beer, and we settled in for the night. It wasn’t a great night of sleep. Being in a city is always a little stressful for us. We lock our bikes and take precautions but there is always a small nagging fear that someone will rob or burglarize us. Our entire lives are with us, losing a bike or trailer or wallet or piece of equipment would be devastating. In the middle of this night, Anna thought she heard someone trying to steal my bike. It turned out to be nothing, but once you are on edge at night, it is hard to settle in. Then, it started raining so we had to get up and cover everything with our tarp. I really think the meteorologists have been trolling us all. We check the weather constantly and it is wrong so often, particularly when it comes to forecasting rain.

After our less-than-restful night’s sleep, we got up and got ready to go. We decided that we would rent a hotel in Dickinson (two nights away). We hadn’t showered in nearly a week and it is never good when you can smell your own crotch while standing. Our budget allows for a hotel room once a month in case of an emergency, so this wasn’t a big deal. Besides, I had a lot of work to do and if I could marathon 12-15 hours of work in one day, having access to reliable motel WiFi would pay for itself five-fold.

The ride through western North Dakota was hilly, but gorgeous. We traveled through Theodore Roosevelt National Park and got to see the Painted Canyon. Every time we crested a hill we had the most amazing sights on all sides. We took photos but, again, they couldn’t do it justice. We had no idea this part of the country was so lovely. Roosevelt National Park is another spot we’d like to spend more time in. Maybe one of these days we’ll get a van and spend a year just driving to state and national parks and backpacking them for a week each or whatever. While at a scenic overlook for the Painted Canyon, we met an incredibly stoned guy who asked us about our ride. He thought Higgs was a child at first. He was from Minnesota and had kind of an old hippy vibe. We had a great time talking to him and he gave us the stereotypical peace sign as we took off.

You should probably just see this in person.

We arrived in Belfield, our hopeful home for the night, as the sun was getting ready to set. The park we stopped at did not have any “No Camping” signs so we decided that camping was allowed there. That’s how the law works, right? Everything is allowed unless expressly forbidden? Legal or not, it worked out well for us. One cop patrolled by at around 9 PM but didn’t see us. We slept well and woke up around 5 AM to get moving before the cop did his morning patrol. As we left, a guy stopped us and asked us what we thought of the park. It was only 7 AM at that point so he probably realized we’d camped there. He was friendly though and seemed genuinely proud of the city park.

It is constantly amazing to us how nice some of these parks are in very small towns. A town may have only 600 people, but it will have an incredibly nice park with a pavilion, new bathrooms, kitchen facilities, picnic tables, and other equipment. I’m always curious how they afford them. Sometimes there are signs thanking the Lion’s Club (or some similar organization), but sometimes there are not. I wonder if these small communities have better direct control of their tax dollars. I imagine in a town of 600 people everyone knows the city council members by name and if they waste money it is pretty obvious (and hurtful because you all know each other). Maybe the community can also band together to create nice things for a low cost without bureaucratic waste. The anarchist in me who is sympathetic to a communal or socialist set-up at the local level loves this.

The ride from Belfield to Dickinson was kind of gloomy and pretty uneventful. It wasn’t particularly challenging, we just rolled along the interstate about 22 miles into Dickinson. (With a warm shower waiting for us, we only took one short break.) Our hotel (The Rodeway Inn) was the cheapest one in town and had terrible reviews, but it was much better than we expected. The staff was incredibly friendly – they even let us check in early – and our hotel room had everything we needed: a hot shower, reliable WiFi, electrical outlets, plenty of room to put our bikes and gear, clean linens, a mini fridge and microwave, etc. It took about an hour to get all our equipment unpacked, dismantled, and into our room, but once we settled in I got to work pretty quickly. Anna started knocking out some of our errands like laundry, uploading pictures to Facebook, etc. I ordered Domino’s for dinner because I wanted it. We didn’t get to bed until 1 AM, which was a bad decision, but when you have an actual hotel room sometimes you lose track of time. Oh well – we will just regret this in the morning!

Over the Cascades

Our first order of business in Seattle (after a night of rolling and a few hours of sleep) was to drop our bikes off at Performance to get some maintenance done. While we would love to support more local shops there are some advantages to going to chain stores. We have a membership with Performance that allows us to get cheap tune-ups and 10% back on all purchases, and they have shops in many major cities and states giving us some consistency in our maintenance. Unfortunately, the quality of service has been kind of unpredictable. The shop in Seattle didn’t have our reservation properly recorded so they couldn’t get us in for full tune-ups, we were able to get some work done but not everything we wanted. Now it looks like we will have to wait until Missoula to get the care to our bikes that they need.

After dropping off our bikes we met with an old high school friend of mine, Becca. Becca and I have both kind of grown along similar paths after high school, and thanks to the magic of Facebook we have been able to stay in touch. We truly live in magical times. The five of us hit up Elysian Brewery, supposedly the best craft brewery in Washington State… we were not impressed. Our primary issue with them was that they didn’t let you pick your own sample flight, so in order to try a taste of things that interested us we had to leave it up to chance or buy a pint. Every brewery in the past has either let you pick the flight, their flights included everything, or they at least advertised what was in their flights. Elysian just had it as “brewmaster’s choice”… disappointing. The beer itself wasn’t that bad but did not really stand out to us (we were also kind of hungover from our night of MDA so that may have been a small part of it).

After beer we went over to Babeland, the famous sex shop that we had heard about thanks to Dan Savage. (Sidenote: We may have occasionally yelled “DAN! TERRY! DJ!” throughout Seattle hoping to be near Dan and his family. They are kind of our heroes and we wanted to meet them.) The folks at Babeland were incredible and very informative. We talked a bit about things, they pet Higgs and gave him treats, and overall seemed very wonderful. We don’t have the money (or space) for sex toys right now (sad panda) but someday we will restock our sex drawer.

We went back to the hotel after that so Anna could work and we could all rest. That is when we discovered that our cheap hotel on the outskirts of Seattle had bed bugs… and Anna found a little baggy of crystal meth in the back alley. Well, it wasn’t a fancy place but at least it had soft beds and we got plenty of sleep that night. You think Anna and I would be sexin’ it up in a hotel room but unfortunately the hangover kills my sex drive (well, mentally I want to bang but my heart isn’t in it).

Day two in Seattle we met up with Becca again. We went to see the Fremont Troll, Fremont Brewing Company (which was better than Elysian), and a beach on the sound. The weather was a little dreary but we had a wonderful time seeing more of the city. Seattle is a place we definitely plan on visiting again and exploring a bit more. We picked up our bikes at the end of the day, rode up to the hotel for a last night of sleep and prep to hit the road.

Our day of riding out of Seattle was actually really wonderful. Most of our route into the Cascades was on bike trails. Some gravel, some concrete, but all away from the dangers of traffic. At the end of the day we had to get onto I-90 to head over the mountains, after a few miles we found a nice place off the highway to set up our tent, eat some dinner, and get some sleep.

The next morning we continued on the road and got to the town of North Bend, WA (which apparently has the diner from Twin Peaks, a show I have never seen) to get some work done. We spent most of the day at the local Starbucks before heading east again. We planned on getting 20 or so miles done but I blew out another tire. At this point the problem was clearly with the wheel, unfortunately there was no bike shop available until the next morning. We found a place near a river to set up for the night. It was then that we discovered a multiple day storm was coming so we decided the make the best of the situation and bunker down for a couple of days of work, maintenance, and rest.

During those days we got rained on, got some work done, and got my wheel fixed, but we were soon on the road again and took the Iron Horse trail eastward. The Iron Horse trail is the most amazingly beautiful rail-to-trail I have ever seen. The fog, rain, and cold weather actually added to the beauty. We literally biked through clouds and the weather showed us where the nickname “Evergreen State” came from. The ride was far from easy, we climbed the first two days in the cold on gravel paths, but we still managed to keep our spirits high.

On the top of the trail we came to a 2.5 mile unlit tunnel that we had to bike through. It was kind of crazy to be in pitch black for such a long time (we had our bike lights but it wasn’t much). There was a certain sense of accomplishment about it though, a satisfying end to two days of climbing. On the other side of the tunnel the world changed a bit, the greenery quickly receded and the desert of our future started to show.

We had a slow decent throughout the day. We had lunch in the town of Cle Elum, which turned out to be one of the least bike friendly towns ever. The people were rude and the infrastructure terrible. You would think that a town along a bike trail would be more supportive of people who bring them business. Oh well, such is life.

We ended the day at the KOA in Ellensburg. KOA’s are terrible for us. They are overpriced, filled with giant RVs, rarely have good amenities, and there are so many fucking children whining, screaming, yelling, and being chaotic. I don’t know why there aren’t more suicides at KOAs. Unfortunately, our camping options were limited and we had to spend two nights there to work. We were able to meet up with a friend of mine at a local pub though, and had a great time catching up and bullshitting with each other. Ellensburg was actually a lot of fun and Iron Horse Brewery (#29) is our favorite from Washington, with Fremont being a close second. The desert was clearly more prominent here and as we hit the road the sun and heat became a primary obstacle.

Out of the Salinas Valley

Pre-Post: This is pretty much an uncensored version of the events of our bike ride. If you are uncomfortable hearing about sex, drugs, profanity, etc you should check follow our PG-version at www.10LegsWillTravel.wordpress.com . This is a warning. If you don’t want to hear about these adult actions please leave now.

Recap… we just woke up behind an abandoned(?) church after a terrible night of paranoid “rest”. We only had a short day of travel ahead of us into King City. Now, on with our tale.

After waking and quickly breaking down camp we hit the trail early. The morning fog reflected our moods and the damp darkness seemed to creep into our souls. We were all a bit on edge and uncomfortable, the night before had brought little more than stress that added to the physical exhaustion we felt from fighting the wind all day. The only bright spot was knowing we had a short ride, 10 miles, into the next city where we had a county campground available for only $5.

The ride itself was quiet and uneventful. The weather prevented us from really noticing or caring about the landscape and none of us really seemed to be in the mood to talk. After about an hour or so we arrived at the King City Starbucks and set up for the day. Anna had a ton of work to catch up on (part of the reason for the long stop) and we needed to secure a rental car so we could get back to LA for Anna and Higgs’ appointments. Besides the work and organizing the rest was much needed for our bodies and minds.

We ended up spending about 10 hours or so at Starbucks. The staff was absolutely great and we actually brought Higgs into the store. He was well-behaved and quiet… he just slept underneath the table. He is really pretty happy as long as he is with all three of us, though the parade of Easter Sunday coffee drinkers annoyed him from time to time. The hours were well spent, even if when we found out that King City no longer has a car rental place (Google fail) and we had to postpone the trip to LA until next week.

After all that work we were really looking forward to camping out and after about 500 feet of cycling we arrived at the campground. Unfortunately, the fee was $28 not $5… apparently I was lied to on the phone or there was some misunderstanding. Pretty obnoxious but still the best option we had available, we paid the fee and got to camp to set up. We were the only tents in the area, there were a lot of people in RVs “camping” nearby but they stayed inside their vehicles and watched tv most of the time. People like that are so lucky to get out of the house whenever they want to explore nature.

Our site itself was perfect. We had trees to set up a hammock where I got some reading in (“The Name of the Wind” by Patrick Rothfuss… if you like fantasy you should probably stop reading my blog and start reading this book. It kicks ass), a store nearby to get beer, and flat soft grass for everything else. There were also showers and a laundry place nearby to stop our stink. After a nice dinner we laid down for the night and got some banging in. It is becoming increasingly obvious that we are getting more fit because of the ride. Whenever I have sex with Anna or grind up on Hans the ass and legs feel much more toned, and I have even noticed some of my middle pudge slipping away. Apparently exercising daily for 4-8 hours and eating mostly fresh foods is good for the body. With our sexiness increasing and our bodies getting used to daily exercise Anna and I should be up to our 5-6 times a week bang schedule that we prefer.

With refreshed minds and bodies we set off along northwest again along the Salinas valley. Generally our routes have been pretty good but it is clear that Google bike directions are great in some places. Whether it is telling us to take roads that don’t at all exist or defining private paths through vineyards as “roads” you need to be cautious and comfortable with making changes to your plans. This didn’t through us off too much though, we got to explore some more farmland and enjoy a nice morning ride. We arrived in Soledad in the early afternoon and everything went to shit.

When we stopped in Soledad the weather was pretty good and we saw an opportunity to catch up on some work at a local coffee shop, get some more groceries, and take it easy before we plowed on another 10 miles or so. We didn’t have a place set up to stay so we were on the lookout for anything on the side of the road to offer shelter. But then the wind came and kicked our ass.

The wind really came out of nowhere… it went from a calm breeze to a ridiculous hurricane of evil dust in a matter of minutes. To be honest, it reminded me of Burning Man. There was a whiteout in the distance and I knew that our evening ride plans were dead if it kept up like that, and it definitely kept up. When it didn’t settle after a bit we decided to see what options we had in Soledad, which ended up being some woods by the Salinas River, a handful of churches, and a motel. We tried them, in that order.

After walking a mile or two in the crazy winds (riding was not possible) to the river we found out that there was a barbed wire fence around it and nobody was allowed there. This has been a common problem for us. Much “public” area is fenced off or restricted from use for no real reason. This is particularly true of city and county parks that don’t allow people there after sundown. How can you really claim a park belongs to the people if bureaucrats are able to criminalize simply existing there during a certain time.

Trespassing harms nobody, trespassing is about control and reducing freedom in exchange for a government officials convenience. I am sure they will claim it is either for our own safety (thanks daddy government for protecting me from myself, I don’t know how I ever can get my daily necessities like food, water, shelter, and jerking off without you… I would probably accidentally stab myself in the face while cutting carrots if it wasn’t for you) or they will claim that criminal activity happens during those hours. But that is bullshit too. To assume any person who exists in a location during a certain hour is going to harm somebody or something is to see us all as guilty until proven innocent. It is the opposite of justice. It is tyranny. There is no good reason that public parks (and other land) should not be available for all peaceful people to use as they wish as long as they do not harm another person or property. But, laws aren’t about peace or freedom, they are about coercion and control. Just remember, when the government fines or jails somebody for trespassing what they are doing is taking a piece of their life. It isn’t a free exchange. It is men with guns throwing others in cages and calling it “freedom”.

After the river was a bust we walked back to a parking lot in the city. I took all the stuff off my bike and decided to check out the churches by myself, it would just be faster for me to go alone on bike than all of us caravan all over the city. This didn’t end up working though, one church was too far, one had nobody around and no place to lay a tent, and one was in the middle of a funeral. The local fire department was also no help because there was some emergency a few blocks away that was taking up there time. It looked like the hotel would be our best bet so we crashed there for the night… it sucks, we are trying not to waste our time at damn hotels. We are learning though and getting better at finding places to sleep well ahead of time so we don’t get stuck in cities.

The sleep at the hotel was a little rough… despite some good sex. Can anyone resist banging in a hotel room? We seem to get later starts in hotels because actual beds are tough to get out of, it is just some much quicker to rise and shine when camping. We planned on hitting a beach campground about 55 miles away but in the end that just couldn’t happen. Our Google route again was filled with weird turns and it got to the point where we just cut through farms along their roads. I don’t know if this is legal or trespassing (or, as I like to call it, “finding the most efficient route from point a to point b as long as you aren’t told ‘no’ ahead of time”). We actually ended up riding along the fence of a state prison for a bit and the sounds of gunfire filled the morning air. I am assuming by the lack of sirens and screaming and general chaos the gunfire was the guards at a shooting range.

Riding by the jail was an interesting thing for me. I found myself a bit afraid and protective of the girls. There was one point when some prisoners rode by us in a truck and I felt the adrenaline start to rush. I know that most prisoners in America are unjustly imprisoned. I know that we have the highest per capita incarceration rate in the world. In many very real ways we are a police and prison state. Anybody can be chucked in jail for next to nothing and everyone just assumes it is just. I know it isn’t just. I know most people aren’t violent. But I was nervous just the same. Conditioning is a bitch.

By time we reached Salinas it was pretty clear that we were not going to reach the campground. I sent out a quick email to the only church along the way that I could find an email address for. (Sidenote: Why don’t churches have updated websites, or at least email addresses published that people actually check?) This turned out to be wonderful for us. Pastor Bill of Grace Community Church in Prunedale contacted us quickly and offered to let us stay at his church.

So, after climbing some hills, one of which Hans started calling “Pencil Dick” because it was long, skinny, veered awkwardly to the left, and she wanted nothing to do with it, we reached our home for the night. The youth pastor, Mark, met us there and let us in. Both Mark and Bill were incredible. They didn’t ask about our religion, they didn’t set up any stipulations for us staying there. Nope, they simply offered shelter for weary travelers. They were real examples of peace and love. Christians and non-Christians could learn a thing from them, and while I probably don’t agree with them on many issues they are the type of people I would want to surround myself with.

After setting up camp and some brief conversations with our hosts we got to bed. Only 27 miles ahead into the Santa Cruz area where we are staying with one of my friends… well, I don’t know what to call her, we were friends in college but also used to sleep together a bunch. Whatever, she is a friend and we are staying with her and her partner.

Post-Post 1: Also, we have set up a GoFundMe account for our ride. If you enjoy the adventure or just want to receive a post card, booty pic, or vegan meal check us out here

Post-Post 2: If you would like to see all our pictures you can check out our Facebook page at www.Facebook.com/10legswilltravel.

Send Off

by Peter

**Reminder: This is pretty much an uncensored version of the events of our bike ride. If you are uncomfortable hearing about sex, drugs, profanity, etc you should check follow our PG-version at www.10LegsWillTravel.wordpress.com . This is a warning. If you don’t want to hear about these adult actions please leave now**

Well nothing ever goes as planned. Expectations, plans, and the whole works are often necessary but rarely match up with what we have in mind. Oh well, shit works out.

We didn’t get to bed the night before until pretty late. I went to bed around midnight, Hans went to bed around 11pm, and Anna didn’t snuggle into our mattress on the ground until nearly 2am… and our alarm was set for 6am. It sucks but I didn’t think much of it because I knew we could still knock out the rest of the prep work and apartment cleaning by 9am or so and hit the trail. Our first day was only 35 miles or so after all, no big deal. And then everything went crazy.

I woke up to anxious voices in the living room. Apparently Higgs had decided to eat a bunch of our trail mix in the middle of the night and because the trail mix had dark chocolate it could probably poison him to death. Anna called her dad who is a veterinarian and I did the only thing I could do, I checked the internet. After some research I decided our dog probably wouldn’t die but this is the internet so it is probably good that we erred on the side of caution. Anna’s dad told us to induce vomiting by pouring hydrogen peroxide down his throat so we did. Dogs do not love the taste of hydrogen peroxide, but after a couple douses he vomited a shit ton of foamy, brown, nutty mess all over the alley behind our house. A good person probably would have cleaned it up but I didn’t because I was tired, in my pajamas, and the smell was terrible. Oh well, this is LA… dog vomit is probably pretty clean compared to most of the sidewalk.

After the Higgs-chocolate-vomit debacle we got back to work cleaning the apartment and prepping our equipment. We finally got everything downstairs and ready to load up around 11am. That is when we realized that the equipment didn’t really fit on our bikes very well and we needed a trailer to carry some of it. Anna rushed off to the local bike shop to get one while Hans and I hung around and kind of just sat around. 1pm finally rolled around and we hit the road. Now we had less than half the time than expected… no big deal…

Unfortunately, we didn’t make it to the campground we had a reservation at. We were racing the sun and had about seven more miles to go when Anna’s bike blew a tube. By time we got it changed we had very little light left and were on the side of the Pacific Coast Highway. I found a campground about a mile away and we rushed off hoping they would have room for us to camp.

We arrived with a few minutes of light left but there was nobody working so we just set up our tent in an empty spot and called it good. We would have payed the $45 if they came around and asked for it but they never did. We left before any park attendee talked to us so I guess we camped for free. Well, free minus the $40 we paid for the other campground that we didn’t stay at. I’m sure the state of California will survive without that extra $5, they sure as hell took a bunch out of our taxes this year already anyway.

The next day (Thursday) only really had one event. As we were driving down the PCH Higgs somehow managed to bust out of the kennel and fell out while I was riding about 15mph. He somehow rolled pretty safely and decided to sprint around the highway. Luckily there wasn’t much traffic. We all basically panicked and started screaming his name, which of course freaked him out and he started sprinting to each of us thinking we were playing some sort of game called “Let’s dodge traffic in an area with no shoulder and speeding cars, but at least the weather is nice”. We ended up getting grabbing him and he was perfectly fine, we were more shaken than he was. He just kept wagging his tail and was thinking of peanut butter or something. After that there wasn’t much to report, we saw some cool jets and missiles near an Air Force base and we stopped for some fresh fruit but really we rolled into Ventura safe and sound.

On Friday things got a little rougher. First off, after about 4 miles on the road some bad circumstances led to Higgs tipping in his trailer as we crossed a road. Again, Higgs ended up being fine but the trailer ended up torn on one side. We had to prop up the couch cushion that Higgs has been using as a bed to block the broken side so he couldn’t slip out… I know it seems like we take risks with our dog but that really isn’t the case, it has just been a good run of bad luck.

After we got the trailer going again we knocked out an amazing 30 miles or so along the coast. We stopped for coffee in a pretentious little area of Santa Barbara where some guy who said he was a witch from Salem, Massachusetts and was walking to San Diego asked Hans for money. He got pretty annoyed when she said no but then asked for directions to San Diego and got more annoyed when we didn’t know more than “walk with the beach on your right”. Once we hit the highway heading to Lucidity from Santa Barbara things got kind of dicey. The roads were absolute crap… uphill climbs, shitty shoulders, and driver’s who barely paid attention. We walked our bikes a lot because we just couldn’t keep riding the steep incline. Luckily, a great guy with a pick-up truck saw us along the road and offered us a lift. We gladly accepted. Finally, around 5pm on Friday we got into Lucidity and got ready to party our asses off.

It didn’t take us long to find our friends and get settled in at the festival. After a little bit of relaxation we popped some MDMA and Cialis and got things going. We wandered around, listened to some music, and just enjoyed the amazing vibe of hundreds of people acting peacefully. For the first time since our trip started Anna and I had sex but because of the MDMA neither of us could come. A standard and expected side effect, particularly when our bodies were so tired from three days cycling in the sun. During this time Hans was out with some of our friends. She got invited to a threesome but wasn’t really up for it because of all the travel, besides, she wanted to listen to some music and explore the festival. We all got a really good night’s sleep though and were ready to explore the festival all day Saturday.

After waking at about noon the three of us and some friends hung out for a bit and drank some beers in front of the tent. We were all recovering from the chemicals in our body and enjoying the cool atmosphere. A few more of our friends arrived at the festival which motivated us to get moving. A group of us walked around for a while just taking in the sights and sounds. It is always such a great experience to see the art and hear the music that humans can create, we are such fascinating and creative creatures. During our walk we decided to take a bunch of pictures (obviously) and during one of these photo ops I proposed to Anna. She said yes and we are now engaged. Her and I have talked a lot about our future together and we both want our lives to stay aligned if possible. We are great partners.

Eventually we found our way back to our tents and rested some more…. festivals can kind of make you lazy sometimes. It is an opportunity to rest and restore your mind (even if you exhaust your body a bit). As the sun started to sink down we took some more MDMA and Cialis and hit the festival again. We wandered, looked for friends, listened to music and enjoyed life.

As is often the case, five of us found ourselves in a tent exploring each other. There were various stages of undress and tits being sucked, cocks being stroked, bodies caressed, kissing, laughing, petting, playing, and banging. Bodies got lost on and in each other and a good time was had by all. During all this play another friend came up to our tent but he was on a bunch of mushrooms so he was more in the mood to just stare at the stars than have some sexy time with our group. While it was fun none of us came (thanks MDMA) so this was day 4 without orgasm… a pretty long time for people like us. After our little tent party we wandered around for another hour or so but our bodies started to tire, the MDMA we took was really clean so we were euphoric and happy but not really “dancey”.

Sunday ended up being a real day of rest for us. Most of our friends had to leave that day and we knew we had to hit the road again hard on Monday. We spent a lot of time letting our bodies and mind recover. Naps, 5-HTP, and food were our primary desires. It was incredibly sad to say good-bye to our friends. Some of them we will see again at Burning Man but many of them will likely be physically out of our lives for the next couple years. Thankfully we live in a time when Facebook and cell phones allow us to stay connected. I fucking love these people and I don’t know how I would get around without them, we all need friends where we can be our naked selves… where we can be open, honest, and unapologetic. People who don’t mind hanging out in the nude, drinking a beer, discussing philosophy, doing drugs, cuddling on a couch, or a thousand other things. These people are soulmates, reflections of ourselves in others. That’s what these two groups of friends are to me… they are love, plain and simple. They are my crushes (intellectually, physically, and as couples) and they are people I hope will be in my life for a very long time. Damn it… I am going to fucking miss them.

Leaving on Monday morning was tough. It was like leaving a warm bed on a cold morning except the bed was warmth for your spirit. We managed to do it though and hit the road around 11am. The mountains out of the city sucked ass. Small shoulders, inclines, and shitty drivers again but we pushed through the remaining 8ish miles with only a few stops (mostly for safety… I have no intention of dying on this adventure, there is too much more to explore). Unfortunately as we came out of the mountains we had a tube on the equipment trailer blow. Somehow it managed to get over five tiny holes in it. We patched what we could and moved on… we should have had spare tubes but we all procrastinated buying them. For days we talked about needing to pick them up but just didn’t. Oh well, lesson learned. We patched what we could and just kept filling the tube every mile or so until we made it to our destination.

That night we stayed with someone we found on WarmShowers. Our host and his wife was absolutely amazing. Despite Higgs acting like a dick to his dogs and horses our host really took care of us. He provided a place for us to set up our tent for the night and cooked us an amazing vegan chili dinner. A warm home cooked meal really hit the spot. I should of known that were among good people when his Pandora station was Phish. We had some great dessert, took a shower in one of the nicest showers I have ever used, and hit the sack pretty early so we could get a good start on the next day.

Around 7am we hit the road to a local coffee shop to kind of set up basecamp for the day. I rode quickly to a bike shop to get tubes for the trailer, as well as new patch kits, while Anna and Hans worked on work and our new Facebook page. We ended up spending about four hours at the coffee shop before hitting the road again.

About halfway through our day we stopped for a break at a gas station. While sitting at a bench I started talking to a guy sitting near us. It turns out he is a former California Highway Patrolman. He asked about what we were doing and seemed really supportive. Unfortunately, I didn’t get his name but I gave him one of our cards. He asked about this blog title so it is likely he is reading this. It is sad that if he was working and witnessed some of the things I’ve already talked about it is likely he would put me in a cage. Our current legal system (and the fucktard asshat politicians that pass the laws) pits many good people who want to make a better society against peaceful people like us. I don’t know what kind of cop he was, he may have been wonderful or he may have ruined the lives of people because they smoked a plant or did some other peaceful act that harmed nobody. I just don’t know, I hope he was a good cop, I really do. It is just really sad that we now live in a society where I fear flashing blue lights and badges even when I do nothing wrong. I know I would never call the police, even if I witnessed a crime… the chance is just too high that they will turn against me or other peaceful people. We now live in a society where vigilante justice is more just than law enforcement. It really is sad….

The rest of our ride into Santa Maria was pretty peaceful. We couldn’t find a safe place to camp or any available people on CouchSurfing or WarmShowers so we got a cheap hotel room. Finally, after an amazing 90 seconds of banging, Anna and I were able to orgasm… the first one in seven days. Hans was feeling a little sick so she didn’t bust out her vibrator, but she did have nearly a half dozen sex dreams so her subconscious filled in where her body couldn’t…. and she banged herself in the morning to make up for lost time.
**I know this one is pretty long. Hopefully I will be able to update this more often and not write a novel once a week**